20 Tips
by SeventhStar7
Summary: After the war, Levy decides to have a girl-to-guy talk about our favorite blonde-haired mage. Just a few tips before the said Dragneel decides to permanently become public with Lucy. Of course, Levy never said she'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Just a few tips for Natsu if he desperately needs to make some babies. And maybe, having fun of it. ONESHOT


**Author: SeventhStar7**

 **Disclaimer: All rights goes to their respective owner - Hiro Mashima. I don't own Fairy Tail.**

 **Comments:** Alright. I want to see Fairy Tail hitting the top 5 on Fanfiction. So I made it my personal goal to upload as many stories as I can. Oh, this is my first time. Please feel free to comment your thoughts. I accept all.

 _ **Enjoy**_ _…_

Authors Note: This takes place in the library. I've also given Natsu a mature essence. Also, I made Levy quite badass here.

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"Natsu Dragneel?" A voice came from the door and the pink-haired looked up from his stack of papers that he was sorting out. It had been an awful week and it was all thanks to his 'best' friend. As soon as his eyes caught on the woman at the door, he sighed loudly.

"What is it, McGarden," Levy gave a sheepish smile before allowing herself in. Geez, what did Lucy even see in this guy? Although more than five years past since the war, he still remained stupid. Unacceptable for her blonde-haired best friend. Her dark eyes watched as the stoic Dragneel went back to going through the files,

"I think we need to have chat about Lucy." Levy watched as he flinched and stopped. His dark green eyes dashed to her and she felt like he was looking in her soul. She pulled the wooden chair out from the front of the desk and sat down. Geez, sometimes, she really gets confused of what Lucy even sees in the fire-headed idiot.

"Okay."

 _Oh please, don't go one-word with me now. After all, it was also my doings that your sorry ass couldn't gather the courage to ask my best friend! Well, that little-!_

"I think I should give you a few tips to help 'make some little Dragneels' intact." _After all, you're gonna need it!_ Levy smirked, folding her arms and giving Natsu a cold stare.

"Right."

"I know that I haven't been the nicest since the war-"

"No kidding." Levy flung a hard glare but Natsu only returned it with his own,

"-and I think these tips can help you out - with your relationship with Lucy."

"Ha." A smirk. Levy couldn't believe that Natsu Dragneel was smirking. He better thank his lucky stars that she was nice enough to do this. If not, Lucy would've already had his ass kicked to Hargeon.

"Surprise me." The Dragneel spoke. He leaned forward, elbows on the desk and fingers clasped in front of him. Levy smiled inwardly, at least he's taking this seriously!

"Twenty things that you should never do - consequence? I'll have Gray go devil slaying, Laxus to grab the Thunder clan, Erza and her sharp collection, Sabertooth, Mermaid Heel, Pegasus, Lamia Scale, and pretty much the whole Fiore to rip you into lovely pieces, shove it down your throat, rip your spinal cord out and dislocate your DNA so your nails will be growing out of your eyes." Levy smiled sickly sweet. Natsu felt a shiver run up his spine - although he quickly covered his flinch with a masked bored look.

(A/N: Natsu is the bolded in brackets):

"One: Don't make fun of her hair, face, body or clothes. Seriously. Just don't."

"Two: Don't overuse sarcasm - It is one thing to joke. It is another to speak sarcasm as a second language."

"Three: Flirt with other girls **(McGarden, are you stupid?)** It won't make her want you more. It'll just make her angry and I need to assure you, a pissed-off Lucy is definitely not a sight to behold, especially if you're at the end of the stick. Gray learned that the hard way. **(Because he is an ice-queen.)**

"Four: Cheat **(You are mentally retarded.)** Never in anyway will you get away with it. News travels faster than light here and don't be surprised when you find yourself single before you step outside the guild. **(Tch.)**

"Five: Make promises you can't keep - if you can't follow through it, don't say it **(Dragneel's never break promises)** that's what you say now, Natsu.

"Six: Say 'I love you' when you don't mean it - if Lucy, the girl you 'love' gained 300 pounds, will you still love her? **(I'd love her if she gained 1,000)** That's what you say now... **(Are you against or for Lucy?)**

"Seven: Lie - You will get caught. Don't ever, under any circumstance, try to keep a lie going. It will never work. **(Lying is for scared idiots.)**

"Eight: Deny things that are true - If Lucy confronts you about something, she knows the truth. Denying it will make her angrier. **(Denial is for losers)** Grow some balls and own up for it.

"Nine: Pressure her- If she wants to do something, she will. **(What makes you think that it's not the other way around?)**

"Ten: Talk about other girls **(There's no 'other')** don't say they're hot, pretty, or even nice. **(They're all ugly anyways.)** She will not want to hear it. **(She's the only girl I can see anyways.)**

"Eleven: Talk to her about your exes. **(She's my first and my last)** If you're saying nice stuff, she'll most likely to assume that you still like them. However, if you talk crap about them, she'll definitely assume that you will most likely do the same about her. **(Girls over-exaggerate.)** No Natsu, it's called 'insecurities', especially if your boyfriend is a pink-haired, dragon slayer with ridiculous and idiotic issues that has an oak tree shoved up his ass.

"Twelve: Say sh#t behind her back - No matter how much you try to hide it, she will hear about it. **(I'm surprised the iron-idiot kept you this long)** And I must include, I will go on a b*tch riot and make sure that not even Lucy herself will ever be able to heal you.

"Thirteen: Be a dick to her in front of people. **( I'd rather clean Erza's swords than be seen acting like a clown)** \- They might think it's funny but she won't. (Tch.)

"Fourteen: Try to make it look like it is her fault to get yourself out of trouble **(Only losers do that)** it will only make things much, much worse.

"Fifteen: Ask why she is mad at you. Say you were wrong and apologize **. (Why do I need to apologize?)** Do not say you didn't do anything wrong. If she's mad, you obviously did something.

"Sixteen: Joke about wanting to break up. **(Dragneels don't joke - especially in a serious relationship)** It won't be taken as a joke and you'll be single before you can tell her you were kidding."

"Seventeen: Tell her she's overreacting. **(Like hell.)** If you thought she was mad before, prepare to meet the she-beast from hell. **(I'm not sure if you're referring to her, Erza or you, McGarden.)**

"Eighteen: Go to parties or hang out with girls without your girlfriend. **(I never liked parties. Even so, let hell break loose if she goes without me.)** No matter how much she trusts you, she will be worried. **(I know. That's why I'll never ALLOW her to leave my side.)**

"Nineteen: Make excuses. If you screwed up, never or don't try to get out of it.

"Twenty: Talk to her when you're mad. **(She talks to me.)** You will screw up something and will end up regretting it. **(Being with her is the only thing I will never regret.)**

Levy leaned back in the wooden chair and gave the dragon slayer in front of her and approved smile. Looking at the time hanging on the walls, she gave a small push to her legs and stood up,

"I'm glad that we both approve of this 'negotiation', if you need some more ti-"

"There are also twenty things that you are forgetting, McGarden." Natsu said, leaning back as well and crossing his arms. He had a smirk on his face. Levy settled uncomfortably.

"One: Everything about Lucy is beautiful. A masterpiece. Her perfect imperfections."

"Two: Sarcasm is only for the ice-idiot."

"Three: Flirting with Lucy and ONLY with Lucy is my job only. I'll make sure that no man is even barely able to touch her."

"Four: There's no one, in my eyes, worthy more than Lucy."

"Five: The only promise I can't keep is breaking up."

"Six: I will love Lucy more even if she becomes over 1,000 pounds and with her ridiculous moods wings."

"Seven: The only thing that I will ever lie about is having a future without her."

"Eight: I'll never deny the fact that I'm crazy-obsessed, over-protective about her."

"Nine: There's no such thing called pressure when it comes to this relationship."

"Ten: The only girl that I've ever talk about with her is our future daughter."

"Eleven: Lucy's my first and she'll be my last. There's no exes before, between or after."

"Twelve: I take pride in her in everything."

"Thirteen: I rather fight Acnologia than to ever be a bastard to her. Even if I did, I know whose going to come after me."

"Fourteen: There's no fault with her. That's why I love her. Because she's the perfect to my imperfections."

"Fifteen: If she's mad at me - I know for a fact that it will always be my fault."

"Sixteen: There will not be any break ups nor any jokes about it. Dragneel's take their relationships seriously."

"Seventeen: I know she's overreacting because I failed to see why she's mad. I always resort to taking the lashings because she took it for me since we met."

"Eighteen: I will never leave her. Everywhere I go, I make sure that she is within my line of eyesight."

"Nineteen: Excuses are for people that are afraid to face the consequence. Because I am an Dragneel, I take pride in making sure that there are no excuses if I ever upset her."

"Twenty: When I'm mad, I remind myself of her. Of her love. Her grace. Everything about her soothes me. She is the epitome of everything I'll ever need."

"Did that help, McGarden?" Natsu questioned, a smirk was plastered on his face and he grabbed the top five files on the pile on his left, and reached across the wooden table, handing the files to Levy.

"M-Most certainly did." Levy turned red from embarrassment. She quickly retrieved the files from the his hands and gradually stood up, brushing any extra wrinkles on her attire and straightened her clothes.

"Now... Those files are for Redfox. It's just the recent attacks outside the border of Magnolia." Levy looked down and back towards the pink-haired dragon-slayer. She bit her lower lip.

"I...I approve of your relationship to go viral." Levy said. Looking Natsu straight in the eyes, her eyes not wavering - showing Natsu a bit of determination. Natsu let out a low chuckle,

"Oh? So you were the last hurdle that was stopping us? Lucy did mention something about three approvals. I'm guessing they are Erza, Juvia and, well, you." Levy bit back her tongue from lashing out.

"Just be thankful that I'm giving out these friendly tips," Levy replied, moving towards the door,

"Right. Friendly." Natsu replied, looking back down at his desk. The McGarden woman looked at the Dragneel that was busy writing something on his desk,

"Oh, and Natsu?" The said boy looked up, one eyebrow was raised. Levy inwardly grinned.

"You passed the S-class examination with flying colours. You'll now be promoted." Levy grinned, producing a small recording device. Natsu glared at her.

"McGarden, you troublesome woman." Levy winked back,

"That's Redfox to you, Dragneel." And the door closed. Leaving Natsu to smile.

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Annnnndd thats a wrap. Please let me know your thoughts on this story.

Bye for nowww :)


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